Deceived?

I know this is like the 3rd blog that I've done today but this is the only way that I can actually express my true feelings and not be judged. I've been married for a year two months and 10 days. December 3, 2007 is when my whole world changed. I married the love of my life and until this day he continues to hold the keys to my heart. BUT, there is a big but he doesn't want to be married. He said he was never ready to get married at that time but he chose to because of the situation I was in where my dad was trying to throw me out of the house. Because of the fact that he loved me and he didnt want to see me on the streets he married me. I dont know what to say, Im at a lost for words. But he only wants to divorce so he can have his own things and supposedly so he can become a better husband later on down the road, if that still happens. At this point and time, I dont know what to do or say anymore. After the divorce,I will be homeless. Yea, I go to school but I dont stay in the dorms and due to the fact that the main campus is like 30 minutes away from where I stay with no traffic is hard. I have to find a job get enough money saved up so I can at least attempt to find a place. My life has been very hard since my mom died. I thought I had truly found happiness with him,that we would grow old together and have a family. But life just keeps throwin major obstacles in my way, I wonder if it gets any better from here. I feel like just disappearing and maybe everyone would be happier without me in the way. I always put his needs before mines, never even thought twice about me. It seems as if all he ever do is think about himself. What do I do? Where do I go from here? My life is a mystery right now. What am I supposed to do? I just pray that I find the answer and the strength to keep on living