I have to admit that ever since she died I've been trying to find my way ever since... God took away my heart, friend, companion, adviser and everything when he took her away. I hate that she didnt get to me walk across the stage or actually met someone that I was really serious about. She didnt get the chance to see me go to college or even my 15th birthday.. Things like this I regret not being able to have her around... My mom was THE one I could talk to and depend on for being there. I miss her sooo much...
Every major life decision I always want to turn to her and ask her or just being able to pick up the phone whenever I need her. I see how close others are with their mom and I just have to turn my head cause I dont have that anymore. Dont get me wrong I love my stepmom but no one will be able to replace my mother. She was the one that has been there from day one and I feel cheated only having her around for 14 years. I know some dont even have theirs for that long but I feel that she was taken at such a critical point in my life where I needed her the most. Alot of the things that I had a passion for when she was living has died such as playing ball which was the main reasonI quit.. Sometimes I just sit and think about would she be proud of me now? Honestly I cant say that she would because I seen what she went through with men and I did the same thing with my ex-husband.. I've been slacking on my school and I think that she would be disappointed. She always talked about us getting a good education, dont get me wrong Im still going to get mines because thats a very important thing to me, I want to never have to depend on anyone else for nothing as long as Im alive.
Soon as I come up with a good design I will get a tattoo in rememberance of her just never had anything that stood out to me.. I just miss her soo much being able to hold her, kiss her, n just talk to her... I love you mommy, you will always be in my heart and I will continue to live my life as u were here.. R.I.P 08.28.1961 - 01.23.2003
Man that almost made me cry. I think about her when we ride by the house... *sigh* :hug: I still have my mom, and I don't know what I'd ever do without her... Ugh, you're finna make me cry, punk! Stay strong, little cousin. Everything you do, do it as if she was here, watching you, guiding you.... Trust that she's looking down on you. :hug:
ReplyDeleteSometimes I just wanna go to the house and look around but someone bought it and I dont wanna look like I'm stalking their place or something... I wanna know who bought it.... I know that she's looking down but it just ain't the same
ReplyDeleteThey may have bought it, but they aren't living there. So, I'm sure you can look. And I know it isn't the same. :-(
ReplyDeleteWhat u mean, they aren't living there? So its just sitting there?
ReplyDeleteYeah, I've yet to see anyone LIVE there. I think the man across the street cuts the grass, but that's about it.
ReplyDeleteDang, that could be Athens home when I do move away n then want to get away I could go there... I wanna see what it looks like
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