Random thoughts

I was supposed to be going to sleep but I couldn’t so I lay in my bed listening to music. Then this thought popped in my head. It is something about this person that I just cant put my finger on. I mean maybe it’s just me and the people that I’ve dealt with in the past but he is nothing like that. I mean I don’t even know him like that, I would say at best right now we are acquaintances (I hardly ever call people my friends unless we been through some shit together) but he’s making me see things in a different light. I mean I have never been more perceptive of someone that I barely knew and its like I feel comfortable talking to him. Strange? Well for me it is. I have problems opening up to people, well I mean it’s not as bad as it used to be with help from a friend but it could be better. I know that I’m facing and dealing with a lot of my issues that I have and its making me a better person. I call it showing my softer side, but he calls it my passionate side. I used to be a lot more reserved growing up, well I was very shy… Im still shy but not as much. It feels as if a weight has been lifted somewhat… There are still many things that he or even the people close to me knows. I don’t think that Im ready to be that vulnerable again, at least not right now, that will have to come at a later time. Im just confused as to why I feel comfortable talking to certain people rather than the people that should know the most about me. If someone was to ask some members of my family questions that they should know, they would have the slightest idea, well maybe my little sister but it shouldn’t be like that. There are certain things that I have come to realize that will never or almost likely to not happen and that is one of them. Im just rambling on in with no specific direction to where this is going just to get these thoughts out of my head. I could be at this for months and probably still not get half the thoughts out my head. Due to the fact that my eyelids are getting heavy and I can barely seem to stay alert, Im going to get off and call it a night.