My "Other" Family

I always knew that my mom was adopted but never knew why or who her actual birth parents are. So after my mom had passed I found that she actualyly found out who were birth parents were and we were all supposed to take a trip that summer to see them. My dad never knew this because her "aunt" had kept the information from him because they dont get along and she knew that I never would've found out. So needless to say now that I am on my own, I have been in contact with them, barely understand them but I keep in contact. LOL, I know you're like how you barely understand them? That's because her birth parents aren't actually American, her mom is Jamaican and her dad is Dominican Republican. Now, they knew about us and had pictures and everything. So, I finally got to talk to my grandmother again today and I asked what happened. Well, she came to America illegally but somehow obtained a work visa to stay around. At work she met my abuelo and they fell in love, she got pregnant, blah blah blah. Shortly after she had my mom her work visa expired and she had to go back to Jamaica but because my mom was born here she was a citizen... So in order for my mom to have a decent chance at life she put her up for adoption and went back to Jamaica. She later came back for her but she had already been adopted. So now back to the present, my grandmother still resides in Jamaica along with 3 of my aunts and 2 uncles. My abuelo is back in the DR, he has two other children with whom I cant communicate with cause their espanol and my espanol is two totally different things,lol. Soon hopefully in the summer my aunts and uncles and grandmother will travel to Flordia and I will finally get to meet them... YAY!!! Now, I understand why one of my friend's mother who is hispanic looked at me and told me that I wasn't fully black. I kind of looked at her like she was crazy but never understood why she said it. Ever since I been here no matter who came in contact with me, always asked what I was mixed with and I couldnt figure why everyone kept saying it. Something bout red undertones in my skin, my hair is too soft( I can go two months without a perm and no one would know), etc. It's just weird how people knew and I never did. Just thought I was 100% negro, so now Im 1/2 black, 1/4 Jamaican. and 1/4 Dominican I think.. Im not sure, help!!!

Unknown

I Knock
Silence
I knock again
and more silence
with no one to turn to
or nowhere to go
I wait
waiting for someone to come alone
the walls are closing in
it's getting harder to breath
air....... i need air
I scream for help
but nothing
I scream louder
and still nothing
It's then I realize
I'm alone.... all alone
the knocking stops
the screams cease
and all I hear is my heart beat
and shallow breathing
then I start to cry
hoping that at God will hear me

Good News

Hearing this news, just brightened my day. Okay, so remember when I said that they was going to pull the plug on Sean? Well, his aunt couldnt do it and thanks to her not doing it Sean is slowly but yet getting better. The doctors said that he still has a long way to go IF he does pull through. But somehow I know that God heard our prayers and will make a way. I've never given up on him, I prayed for him and will continue to do just that. I sent my love through his aunt. I know that he is fightin to pull through because of his family, his decision to change his life around, and a promise that we have made a while back. I ask that you guys continue to pray that he keeps pullin through and will be just fine.

This is why I dont have many female friends

Ok, so basically I dealt with drama for the last part of my weekend. It kind of started Friday when my friend wanted her soon to be ex husband to watch the kids this weekend, he's been back from deployment for probably a good two months so he didnt have a place to stay. He's been livin in hotels for the past few months, so he wanted to stay in the apartment that is in HIS name and that HE pays the rent for. She said okay at first and then changed her mind. They went back and forth for a minute. So finally she said yea n she was posed to stay at my house the whole week. Okay, cool u my homegirl I dont mind. So then Monday comes and shes nowhere to be found, she claims they tried to kick her out the apartment(which they werent) so I end up goin there to see whats goin on. Her ex's girl ends up comin over and since I have nothing against her, we started talking. Now some of yall may think that it was fucked up that I started talkin to the other chick. It was like I told her I dont know her n Im not a mean person naturally unless someone fucks with me and makes me mad(which takes alot) then I dont have nothin against them. So we talkin and she gets paranoid and thinks we talkin bout her, which we werent. The truth did come out ladies and gentlemen, come to find out she had been throwiin my name around during arguments with her ex, so needless to say he didnt like me n he didnt even know me. We started comparing stories and finds out that she's been lyin to the both of us. So the girl stays mad at me for a whole day, oooooooo Im scared,lol.. So this morning she called and said we needed to talk. Okay whatever come back. She apologized, I apologized and everything was cool. So we went to her house and chilled. Next thing I know she just ups and leave so now its me, her kids, n her mother in law for the time being. The girl comes back and says she has to go she cant stay here anymore my name is now on the lease. So me being the good friend that I am call her and tell her that they are kicking her out. By the time she gets there the chick is gone and her ex is there, I take the kids inside because they dont need to listen to their parents argue. So Im playin with the kids she gets her stuff n leaves. Her ex comes in and says that "Oh she said that you could walk home." HOLD THE FUCK UP BITCH, u came and got me out my house, brought me over, and then said I can walk home. What type of motherfuckin bullshit is that? So I end up getting a ride from her ex and his girl. We pull up to my place, the girl's boyfriend(who my husband let him keep his stuff there since he had no place to put it), my ex, and a couple of their friends were outside. Now this bitch is in her boyfriends ear sayin that I been tellin all they business and whatever. So he comes at me wrong and I immediately go the fuck off. She's lyin and because u fuckin her u believe that dumb ass shit that comes out her mouth even though it dont make any sense comin out of urs. Her pussy cant be that fuckin good!!! So me n him get into it and I yell where she can hear me through the phone that anytime she is motherfuckin ready to come c me. He walks off and gets into his friend's car( cause he dont have his own cause his wife takes all his money). Oooops that the twist, both are technically still married. Her n her ex divorce will be final soon but ur datin someone who is still married. Where does that lead u fuckin slut? So needless to say both of them are kicked out of my life and if I ever see her again she will get fucked up on sight. Thats why I dont hang around a lot of females cause they full of shit.